Friday, December 30, 2005

December 30, 2005, 6:48pm

It's my first time to actually see where oranges come from... the orange tree. :)

They have tangerine trees at Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings' house too.

Shirley took the four of us, students and visiting scholars, touring the small towns around. We stopped at Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings Historic State Park in Cross Creek. Well, Rawlings was a Floridian author in the 1930s. Shirley said Rawlings is very famous.

Hm. I still remember Bryce said in the news writing class that unless it's a quote from interviewees, we shouldn't use the word "famous" in news writing. I don't remember exactly why. And I'm sure I've forgotten a lot of the things I learnt already. I really wish I have a better memory.

Something like "famous" is vague. Also, don't use the word "important" in phrases like "The General Theory of Relativity is important" because if things are not important, it shouldn't be in the copy. Instead, write about why things are important.

What I want to say is, for any person famous in anywhere at any time, people from other places and other times may not even know their names. For me, Lu Xun and Xu Zhi Mo are "famous" authors. But I simply can't expect them to be as widely known as Homer or Shakespeare.

How on earth would I know Rawlings? Before Ann and Bert told me about Robert Burns and Adam Smith, I didn't even know Robert Burns, the Scottish poet who's on the banknotes in Scotland. I was studying at the London School of Economics and I didn't know anything about Adam Smith, the economist.

So, if you're interested, you may read her book "The Yearling" and others. But Lu Xun and Jin Yong are on top of my leisure reading list.

I love the small towns. "More shops" would be like 10 shops all selling antiques and crafts. But when I simply don't expect to buy anything there, I am not disappointed at all. Unlike the Miami mall.

We saw a deer and two eagles on the way. Shirley and I were arguing if they're eagles or hawks. I looked at my photos of the hawk hundreds of times already. The two eagles have white heads and white tails. And the hawk is just brown.

So, we tried to take a photo of the eagles and ask other people. Well, they flew away when we stopped the car. Then we asked the post office staff in Micanopy what the big birds with a white head and a white tail would be. They said it's the bald eagle, the symbol of the United States.

You see, we're dedicated to knowledge. Though we cannot be sure if we have got the truth or if there's any truth at all. :D

The post office in Micanopy was built in 1812. The mailboxes look really old.

The mailboxes have different sizes and different shapes. Really want to know the people who have used them.

My friend was looking for a place to send a fax to China. Well, the post office has international fax service but the staff don't know how much to charge. So, they couldn't offer the service even though they have the international line and a fax machine.

On the way back, we stopped at Paynes Prairies State Preserve. You see the shadow of spectators? We're discussing if the three tiny black spots in a line in the middle of the swamp is actually an alligator.

To me, anywhere with the endless clear blue sky is heaven. So, if the real heaven is way way way outside the universe, that is, perhaps it does not have any atmosphere, I'd prefer the Earth.

Can you picture how our path in life is like? It's short. And... what?

With the digital camera, I couldn't picture the sun because a sharp vertical line would form in the middle of the screen. But I do hope I'm walking towards a brighter end.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

December 29, 2005, 8:35pm

I finally recognize one real good thing about being a student again, despite the low pay, demanding work and constant challenges to learn. The break!

I only had 14-18 days annual leave working in Hong Kong in the last three years. And I would usually plan traveling here and there. Or I would be going out with friends. Well, I also took annual leave to take the GREs and TOEFL.

And now, I am able to actually relax. Sit back. Real relaxation. Not that I don't have anything to do. I have to read for my master's research and finish up a research project in Hong Kong. But I haven't felt so free for a long time. My schedule is basically empty. I don't have to rush to here and there. Just sit down and begin work. Get tired and take a nap.

What a life to live. :)

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

December 28, 2005, 11:30pm

Just to tell a good news. I have returned all my loan for my undergraduate studies finally!!!

Wow, it's six years after my graduation. Can you believe that? It's such a long time...

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

December 27, 2005, 4:31pm

Went to the super Walmart in Starke, north of Gainesville. Well, just as anytime to go "shopping" here, I would really miss Hong Kong and London. Just what kind of things are there to shop! All those "made in China" stuff that I have a mixed feeling to buy. And so many stuff I simply don't have any need or desire to buy.

For things that I really need, such as Chinese medicine... and there is none. Headache.

Leanne, thank you so much. I got the herbal tea and CD sleeves today. Also got the Christmas card from Pancy and the Chong's family.

As I said, I have the world with you all. Super Walmart cannot beat me.

Monday, December 26, 2005

December 26, 2005, 11:41pm

Went shopping for the after-Christmas sales. Got a leather jacket for only $59.99. Well, I wanted to get one when I was in London but things were simply too big or too expensive. So, today I finally got one that fits.

Hey, Lillian, you know, I keep thinking about you after I got the leather jacket. You really moved me when you gave me the little globe. I don't know why I'm always fascinated seeing those big and small globes since when I was very small. But I never have one until you gave me this little one that I brought here.

It was very expensive to buy a globe when I was small. All these years I continued to feel the awe whenever I saw a globe. It's a thing to see in shops and I didn't think about buying one even though it became affordable.

I'm still reading the book about resilient adults. One very important characteristics of the resilient is having at least one parent or an adult (relatives, teachers or a neighbor) whom the children can look up onto. I didn't have any such adult figures. I have friends most of the time. With friends, I own the world.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

December 25, 2005, 4:25pm

Reading a book about resilient adults. That is, people who have endured a terrible childhood and grow up more or less a functional adult.

Well, I'm pretty sure I have a bad childhood in today's standard. As one of the interviewees said, she didn't think she had a childhood. Yet, this idea of a carefree and inocent childhood is a rather recent concept, I think.

Children worked as coal miners, factory workers etc in the 18th Century. I think I saw a document hanging on the wall somewhere, probably a whisky factory museum in Ireland or Scotland. Children aged 7 could not work longer than 15 hours a day. What a mercy.

I want to learn from the interviewees and see what they have done to resolve their hatre and anger. I don't want to live forever having nightmares on a weekly basis to survive my mother's attempted murder. And so many of the interviewees had even more terrible times than me.

Went to Shirley's mother's place just now. They have five generations of the family gathering there. For what I know I don't have, I will find the way to create mine. This is on the top of my Christmas wishes.

Merry Christmas, everyone. I wish you have joy in your life.

Friday, December 23, 2005

December 23, 2005, 9:27pm

Psyche and Frankie, thank you so much for the Christmas card. You know, when I first read the Buddhist wisdom, I was shocked.

人善人欺天不欺, 人惡人怕天不怕, 善惡到頭終有報, 只爭來早與來遲.

何必紛爭一角牆, 讓他三尺有何妨, 長城萬里今猶在, 不見當年秦始皇.

春有百花秋有月, 夏有涼風冬有雪, 若無閑事掛心頭, 便是人間好時節.

善似青松惡似花, 看看眼前不如它, 有朝一日遭霜打, 只見青松不見花.

The others I don't understand, so I'm not putting them here.

I got my Christmas gifts from Claire too. My pen pal in England.
December 23, 2005, 5:40pm

Will be in the Chinese church for the Christmas dinner at 6pm. Well, yes, without a family and friends, without a car, the only place to go for Christmas is probably the church.

Recently read about Xu Zhimo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xu_Zhi_Mo

Really want to find out why he found the States "intolerable." I really miss the church choirs in St. Paul's Cathedral, Westminster Abbey and Southwark. Well, just seeing the architectures from outside would be good enough.

So far, I won't say the States is "intolerable." To me, the States is simply not my taste.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

December 22, 2005, 2:49pm

Luning took the picture for me. I think I look really like a beggar. My knees were hurting a lot walking in the sand. That's why I spent most of my time just sitting down and didn't want to move a lot. Other people played football and volleyball.
December 22, 2005, 1:12pm

Everglade is a huge wetland. Wild life stuff.

Was on an airboat for 30 minutes to see a very little part in Everglade. Saw many alligators but not many birds.

We didn't have any geography or botany majors in the group. So, no one to explain about the mangroves and birds. The guys in charge didn't say much either. All is to see the alligators. I really miss the wetland tours by the Argiculture, Fisheries and Conservation Department, Hong Kong.

Frankie and Winston, I miss our time together to learn about how many types of mangroves are found in Hong Kong (7 or 8?). To learn about the significance of mangroves to hold the soil in the seaside and how the four types of roots adapt to the changing salt level.

Well, in Mai Po, they have a pretty good museum too. In Everglade, they have something like a circus. To show visitors how they feed the alligators. More like to show how brave the guys are. In the end, I didn't get anything intellectually.

If you pay $3, you can hold a baby alligator to take a photo.

Just a minute before this guy took the baby gator out to make money, he said if we had to wear a jacket, the alligators were freezing. That's why the big alligators in the circus were in the water. But when people were paying him for the photos, he didn't say anything about the temperature for this little one.

I think I should write a thank you letter to Mai Po for both what they have done and what they have not done. At least they wouldn't catch a blackfaced spoonbil and make money this way. Not sure if Mr. Young is still the manager. I interviewed him for Varsity, already nine years ago.

I've already forgotten where this was. South Beach or something like that. Should be somewhere huge about night life and gay scenes. Well, like Robin William in Birdcage. Perhaps things look gorgeous only in the Hollywood movies.

To me, Miami is really disappointing. The neon light signs in Nathan Road are a lot more stimulating. Well, yes, the beach is huge... but I suppose huge things are not necessarily good. I don't know what that is. Miami lacks something. Something like a character. I wouldn't refer the buildings as architectures. They're just like match boxes or shoe boxes put together.

I remember when I was in the British Museum, I always think the British make the ancient stuff so clean and tidy. Too clean and tidy to look real. Compared to the columns and sculptures I saw in Egypt, those in the British Museum are like they're all polished. But hey, these things can be as old as 5000 years. They are weathered! And remember, Egypt is very dusty everywhere probably because of the desert.

Anyways, these big names, the British Museum or Everglade, no matter how big their names are, I simply don't think they live up to what they mean to be. Whether it's to preserve the history or to preserve the wild life.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

December 21, 2005, 8:35pm

It's gray and cloudy.

Just back from Miami. It's still hot and humid at this time of the year over there. My knees are very bad. Walking in the sand etc.

It's meant to be a retreat organized by a church-related organization. So, no gay scenes. But I did see a butch holding hands with her gal. (In other words, a femme holding hands with her gal.) Probably in their 50s.

This reminds me of Greece, which was infinitely more beautiful than Miami.

Anyways, it's the Atlantic Ocean and I haven't seen much water for months already. Just miss the salty smell.

I finally saw several alligators in Everglade.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

December 17, 2005, 10:22pm

Went to Tacachale with the people from the New Hope Church this afternoon. Tacachale is a village for people with disabilities. We went to give Christmas gifts and sing the Christmas carols.

We went to see a group of men with mental disabilities. I don't know how people are classified but they seem to have quite severe problems.

I first volunteered to give services for people with mental problems when I was 16. Really a long time ago. It's a sports day for children with mental problems. I was leading the children to their destinated places for their sports activity: long jump, tracks etc.

Perhaps the kids were not as severe as these guys I met today. I remember I was very impressed by a boy doing really well in high jump. I'm never good at sports and right now, I'm physically challenged because of my knees. It's really bad today in the cold. And the storm looks like it's never going to end. And my front door is dripping.

The village house smells of urine. One guy has to wear a helmet. He continuously hits his own head with his hand. Well, the helmet protects his head but it may hurt his hand.

I read some neuroscience papers about how brain imaging tells us about development. I think there're always something that cannot be studied, I guess. They may be able to make a child with autism lie still for minutes. Just cannot think of how they can make these severely disabled guys stand still for a few seconds.

Well, research may never help them anyways.

BTW, my neighbor is going home. So, I will take care of her fish and a plant. :)

Friday, December 16, 2005

December 16, 2005, 5:49pm

I'm done with my first semester! :D

Will have a Christmas party at Shirley and Larry's place at 6pm. Will come back and plan for my break.

Need to structure my time or I'll feel empty staying here alone. I want to read my recipes, clean my apartment, especially the windows!

Natalie, thank you so much for your Christmas card. I finally got it today. The Christmas card from Ann and Bert also arrived at the same time. Just like last year, they're sending me cash! They took the trouble to convert the British pounds to US dollars!!!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

December 15, 2005, 2:39pm

Hey, I've got my first A here! Yeah, statistics!!!

Forgot to put it down here. I also got a very good evaluation as a TA.

Still grading student papers in my office. Will go to Miami for three days on Sunday.

Can't wait!!! :)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

December 14, 2005, 8:01pm

Hey, my statistics exam is done! I can't believe it!!!

This morning was like the darkest morning I have ever hard. Woke up, checked my emails... my supervisors said the scantrons would be in my mailbox for processing...

This is just crazy. I had the exam marked tomorrow morning 8:15am in my organizer. Yet, it's this morning. So I just rushed (in the top speed with my impaired knees) to the psychology office. On the way, I met my supervisor and she's ultra understanding. Said, it went fine.

OK, I'll have to add two more items in my 2006 goals.
1. Be ultra understanding to everyone.
2. Be meticulous about dates and time.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

December 13, 2005, 11:22pm

Hey, friends, do you have any plan for 2006?

I made plans every year. Well, most of the time I would be too unrealistic about how many educational videos and books I would have to read every month.

I did read more than I had planned at times. Too bad I haven't been to India and Cambodia yet.

Let me begin to make my plan here.
1. Driving
2. Swimming
3. As in all coursework
4. Master's research
5. Teaching
6. My knees
7. Maintain health in general
8. Figure out what I can do about my memories of my terrible childhood and young adulthood
9. Figure out what the options about my family are
December 13, 2005, 9:02pm

Just back from a party. Had some great Korean food. And real fun to learn more curse words. My friends actually gave me a crash course on American curse words.

Well, we actually began from A. Got to remember all these. A for a--. B for b----. C for c--k and c--t. F, well no need to elaborate I guess. H for h---. N for n-----. P for p--- off and p----. S for s--- and s----.

I actually left early. Now, back to my statistics.

Monday, December 12, 2005

December 13, 2005, 12:58am

Yeah, my take-home exam is about done!!! Need to sleep now. Will double check it tomorrow before I submit it.

Will have a party tomorrow evening with other graduate students. Then it's my statistics final and student papers.

Working hard... very hard...

Sunday, December 11, 2005

December 12, 2005, 12:38am

Keep going... only five days left...

1. Take-home exam, Dec. 14, 5pm
2. Statistics final, Dec 14, 5:15-7:45pm
3. A huge pile of student papers to grade, Dec, 16

Friday, December 09, 2005

December 9, 2005, 7:42pm


Had a Christmas party in my advisor's house with colleagues and research assistants. Came back and opened my mailbox. It's my Christmas gifts from Jess, my Scottish friend.

I'm used to not buying calendars. Every year, I got calenders from Jess and Claire. Claire is my pen pal in Teesville, Northern England, since when I was around 15.

I don't remember how old Jess is. Around 85 I suppose. Every time when I hear from her, I will be very happy. More than just happy. Then I cry. I can never be sure if I can hear from her again. She has heart problems.

The summer when I first went to Scottish border to visit Ann and Bert, the three of them saw me off in the Berwick-up-Tweed train station. Jess has hearing problems. A few days before I left, she changed her hearing aid and was adapting to it.

You know the British trains. Never on time. Always late for two hours or more. At one point, Jess asked if the sound was the bird singing. We said yes and she was so happy to hear that.

The second time I went to see them again before I left the UK, I don't remember where and what, maybe it's the time when they took me to a wet market and they're looking at some Christmas cards. I asked why they have the bird for Christmas.

They said, it's a robin. It's a little bird and when winter comes, the feathers on their chest turn red. The robin is then used to represent Christmas because people said the red feather is Jesus's blood. I actually saw a robin before I left Scotland.

Last year when Ann and Bert stopped in Hong Kong on their long long long long and long journey to Australia to see their sister, they brought me a robin glass craft. Yes, glass, all the way from Selkirk Glass, where they went to have tea nearly every day.

http://www.selkirk.bordernet.co.uk/selkirkglass/

I also got a fountain pen from Jess. Well, I don't know where I can find the ink. Need to check it out in the bookstore tomorrow... I have never had a fountain pen. No idea how to use it...

Sunday, December 04, 2005

December 4, 2005, 6:49pm

I'm already busy to death... yet, a swamp of nearly 100 flies invaded my apartment when I came back from church.

I don't know why they're there. I have no idea how they got in there. Too bad they found the way in but not their way out.

I was there spraying the bugkillers... I couldn't concentrate on my paper. I couldn't go out for laundry... Their roaring flying engine distracted me.

Seems that I've got all of them out, after three hours struggling.

This has to be the last thing that can go wrong. I have a long paper, two exams and a pile of student papers to grade.

And my stomach ache.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

December 1, 2005, 9:01pm

Stomache! So bad.

Let me try the time and go to Walmart for some medication... Really bad. Got loads of stuff to do...