September 30, 2007, 3:17pm

Forgot about those times already... the fire killing the boy with autism reminds me about the dangers in Hong Kong.

I don't really know. How much is it to have the sprinkler system, the smoke detector, the circuit breaker, and the fire extinguisher?

These are simply basics here. Yes, the extension cords for computers may not be safe. But how come even the fuse didn't work?

I requested to live on the first floor because I cannot escape using the steps in case of fire. And with all those fire safety equipments, I feel I'm a lot safer.

Sad. Thinking about the Bronfenbrenner's ecological model of human development. The environment makes a difference.

September 29, 2007, 12:28pm

So, I'm truly living in a desperate place. Expecting "Lust Caution" to release on Sept. 28. No theater in Fort Collins or Denver is showing the movie.

Suck places.

September 24, 2007, 9:47pm

Felt really bad last night. Remember a childhood terror. All I wanted was someone to say, "Everything is OK. We're safe."

Yet, the home environment was not safe. I don't understand. Why didn't they make the environment safer? Why was it dusty everywhere? Why so miserable and helpless? Why not change what they can change?

***

Really puzzled about how I get to where I am. So many challenges every single day. Just finished two assignments, a class discussion, and a seminar presentation last week. Sick Friday evening, too stressed out.

Found my high school website by accident. Just read that a classmate is now a music teacher in a Tai Po high school.

She used to look down on me. Well, for whatever reason. She believed she's girly and beautiful. And I didn't have brand names to show off like a lot of them.

A high school teacher in Tai Po? I cannot imagine it. What a boring life, in my standard. Went to a high school in Sha Tin, went to CUHK in between Sha Tin and Tai Po... Then now, she's one KCR station away in Tai Po?

I'm here thousands of miles away from Hong Kong. Being challenged... Got to meet deadlines and learn the single factor model...

Life is great! The trees are changing from green to gold again. Every day is stimulating. Yet, for her, for a person who used to look down on me... she's in Tai Po?

What have I done to make this happen? How do I get here? Where will I go next?

***

Mid-term exam next Monday... Take it as a challenge!

September 20, 2007, 9:32pm

Felt dizzy working on the computer last night. Saw some stars. Then fell into bed. Woke up this morning... I lost consciousness!

Not sure if it's stress or M. Have been having cramps in my right leg... Don't know what's happening. Too much coffee?

Got to catch up with class after my seminar presentation. Falling behind of everything because of the preparation.

Still, I have M... Does it mean that my body is restoring? Really want to learn how to read my pulses... Dreamed about seeing my Chinese medicine doctor last night...

September 19, 2007, 8:14pm

I have M!!! Only 1.5 months!!!!!!!!

Don't even remember how it feels to have period in a row. I didn't have M for any two consecutive months since I left London. Five years already. I remember it was the Mid Autumn Festival the day before I left Edinburgh.

Also remember I was working on my PhD applications the first time. I was working in the PolyU. It was a Saturday. Not a work day. But I was in the PolyU library, staying away from my crazy family.

I was feeling so exhausted. Thinking, I still had one more year to suffer even if the applications got through. Was terrified to think about living with my family for another year.

The applications didn't get through. Was thinking, I'd try again if I wouldn't die in the following year.

Life was desperate with my family.

This week is dreadful. I'll have to celebrate when I get my class discussion and seminar presentation done. But this kind of stress is manageable.

What the hell is it that I have a family like this? To give me a hell of constant anger and threat all my life? To make me stop having M for three years? To make me post-traumatic for 1.5 years?

Nodame Cantabile - 23 (Finale)

Nodame Cantabile Episode 23 - English Subs
"Lesson 23" (Subbed by Hard Gay Fansubs)
Chiaki conducts his last song with the Rising Star Orchestra and contemplates how he even got there in the first place. With Nodame still away in Okawa, Chiaki is urged to persuade her to return to piano by visiting her home town after the concert. Chiaki and Nodame share an intimate moment at the riverbed as her father catches sight of them from his boat. Chiaki and Nodame will be looking forward to seeing each other in Europe. The pieces performed in the episode are Symphony No. 7, Op. 92 by Ludwig Van Beethoven and Piano Sonata D845 by Franz Schubert. (Wikipedia)

September, 17, 2007, 11:53pm

Two down. Missed the deadline at 5pm. Finished at 10pm. Got the deadline extended. :)

Seminar presentation to go! I will enjoy it!!!

Nodame Cantabile

Online Videos by Veoh.com

September, 16, 2007 10:50pm

Crazy. Worked until I cannot think.

September 8, 2007, 5:41pm

Broke. Fixed the car... hopefully it's fixed. $500~~~

September 8, 2007, 12:23am

Finally got online in my apartment. Technology sucks.

***

Such a tough week to get through early in the semester. More to come. Will work in the lab in the weekend again.

September 3, 2007, 12:11am

Working seven days a week. Feels like I'm getting back to the work rhythm as when I was in Hong Kong. Work work work. :)