February 28, 2006, 11:16pm

I saw an opossum! I didn't know what this creature was. I was thinking, this big thing is so cute. Then, I asked Cindy, the GatorLift driver about it. She said opossums are nasty. That they look ugly.

Well, it's my first time ever to know such a creature exists on earth. It's quiet. I was just following it when I saw it near my office. I was thinking, it's cute, though it looks like a huge rat.

http://www.wildlifecenter.net/images/opossum.JPG

Opossums are nocturnal... I got to work more in my office in the evening. I want to see it again. :)

February 27, 12:40pm

Just read the Ming Pao news about a student survey on teacher stress. It says, students are willing to submit their assignments "to reduce teacher stress."

What is the logic behind?

I was here in the office until 10pm last night. Sunday night. I was grading the 45 student papers all day then this morning, I accepted a late submission and was grading again.

How on earth assignment submission is related to teacher stress reduction? If they don't submit the assignment, they don't get any grade. If they don't pass the course, I suppose students should be in stress. I only have few assignments to grade.

To work on assignments and submit on time, to me, can only be for students own good. I have a paper due today and I got it printed out for proofreading yesterday. So, it's ready for submission in class today. And I'm already preparing for the second paper due March 27, 2006.

I have so many deadlines every now and then. I can pay money to register for a course. But I can only learn if I pay effort to study and work on the assignments. Grades are earned not given.

What is in the head of the students thinking about to do assignments for the teachers' (imaginary if unlikely) benefit?

I really want to look at the questionnaire. Is it a multiple choice question or free response question? Most likely this "do homework" thing is an option to choose or it's unlikely 69.4% (as reported) students would "prefer to do homework for teachers."

http://hk.news.yahoo.com/060226/12/1lk7t.html

Is doing homework a student's responsibility? Or is it a voluntary action "to show care for teachers?"

I still remember a girl in a TV interview, it's probably BBC or Channel Four, can't remember exactly. It's already more than three years ago when I was in London. She said, she would enjoy studying if doing homework is like eating icecream.

My landlady said, the girl has no brain.

Well, I wouldn't say she has no brain. That only takes a brain scan to prove or disapprove. Perhaps her brain is not fully developed. The question is how to enhance children's development in the ways desired. And to debate about what is desirable.

Another question is, what is education for? To realize people's potential? Or to manipulate people? Or for social control?

February 26, 2006, 12:51pm

Will teach a lecture in less than two weeks... working hard to prepare. Will teach about schools and adolescence.

Well, it's a long long long time ago... This September will be the 10th anniversary knowing you JLM pals. 10 years! And I'm still here in school. Don't seem to change much...

February 23, 2006, 2:55am

Just to upload several photos I took in St. Augustine last Sunday. It's the oldest city in Florida, where the Spanish came to settle in this new continent.

Honestly, it's not much to see though I finally got a chance to see the sea again... in a gray day.

This said-to-be-the-oldest house in Florida took $4 to get in. I guess it's actually not the oldest house. It's probably the last one that's not tore down. The tour said all the furnitures were added to show the different periods as defined by the owners.

I'm seriously thinking to go back to Scotland to see my friends this summer. Simply can't wait to go back to Europe to have a feeling of culture and tradition again. I miss all the ruins and castles with furnitures preserved.

Then, the museum showed the collections of this one guy. This is mainly to say what a rich guy could buy during the Great Depression. He bought a four-story building to house his collections of Victorian stuff.

Anyways, he did have something interesting. I didn't see any typewriter with a circular keyboard before. He also kept several huge music boxes with metal discs of one meter in diameter. That is, it's the former CDs and DVDs.

A boy from Ireland was very interested in cowboys. I'd much better go to Ireland again to see the scenic Cliffs of Moher. Breathtaking. Half the sky was dark when I was there...

Friends, I know so many of you are like me, into cultures, histories and traditions. So, save up your money. One day, we'd better go to the Amazon together.

February 18, 2006, 12:07am

I feel very bad reading about the children died either being locked in a suitcase or falling from the window in Hong Kong.

What are these parents doing? They simply don't seem to have a functioning brain. When developmental psychology has studied so much about parent-child relationship, how come these findings don't seem to reach these parents?

How on earth my parents did what they did to me?

Findings in psychology may not be true. But hey, the human civilization has been on earth for thousands of years. And the human species or the antecedents had to raise their offsprings too. How come the genes and behaviors of such stupid parenting or child abuse continue?

Something must be wrong here. Either the evolution theory or the changes in modern societies.

February 16, 2006, 7:02pm

http://www.youtube.com/w/Torino-Olympics-double-figure-skating_Zhangs?v=JPi2QY0U09Q&feature=Views&page=2&t=t&f=b

Offsprings of the Dragon.

February 14, 2006, 10:15pm

Got to write this down before I forget. Want to write about how I spent this Yuen Siu, the 15th day in the Chinese New Year. Never have the time. And right now, my brain cannot work on my statistics or anything else. So, better do blogging.

Had a Tang Yuan party with friends. Very interesting. Three of them are ABC. One from Beijing and one from Harbin. We had dumpling and two types of Tang Yuan.

I am not sure, but I only had Tang Yuan of a uniform size in Hong Kong. But people in the north have two types of Tang Yuan. One big and one small. The big type is the same as the one in Hong Kong. But the small one is like the size of a penny made into a sphere.

The big type is called Tang Yuan and the small is called Yuen Siu. You have to bear with me. I don't actually know how to say Yuen Siu in Mandarin, not to mention about the pinyin.

So, I actually learn more about Chinese food here. :)

February 12, 2006, 1:14am

Noodle King is such a luxury. It's much much more than abalone. :)

My Christmas gift from Sister Faye finally arrived after the Chinese New Year. Yeah!!! Thank you so much. :~~~

It's a full big box of Chinese herbs and instant noodles. One pack of Noodle King is already in my stomach. The bowl of hot noodles makes me feel I have the world, after working in my office until 10pm.


Well, yes, I can buy instant noodles in the Chinese markets here. But their Chinese herbs are very bad. Absolutely low quality, if not the lowest. It's only when I see those bad stuff here I realize I had so many good things in Hong Kong.

Like last week, I simply couldn't recognize the cai xin here. I have eaten so many cai xin in my life. Never before see any cai xin so thin and long...

You see this standard or protocal look of cai xin here: http://news.jgny.net/2005/6-23/134535.htm

Really, nothing can be taken for granted. Is cai xin still cai xin when it's thin and long with very small leaves? It can look so completely different. So, this is one case of the interaction of nature and nurture. Maybe it's cai xin genetically but the environment can make it look like something else.

And is mother a mother when she is not doing what a mother is expected to do? OK, I have to be a student.

My counselor asked me to write down my recurrent nightmares. I had one this morning. So, let me put it here.

This is a new one. I was taking a shower feeling strange because the shower box feels smaller than usual. And the bottles of shampoo and bodywash look different. Different color, different shape. Just not like those I used to use.

Then, I saw my mother suddenly emerged from several luggages. That is, the lugguage opened itself and she came out from it. I had no idea how the luggages get in here. I had all the fear in the world, yelling, how can you get in here. How can you come here this way. Why do you come here...

Then, as usual, woke up very frightened. Ai... how come I have a new version of nightmares?

My recurrent one is that, somehow I don't know why, I see my mother. I would think, where am I? Why would I see her here? Then, I would say something that I didn't ever say to her yet I kept it suppressed. An example would be, how come you don't turn on the air con when it's so damn hot? You only think about to save money for your son to get married. You don't even buy food and cook reasonable food for me.

Then, we'd get into a verbal fight. In a second, it's a physical fight. She would hold my neck trying to suffocate me. Then, I did the same to her, trying to kill her before she killed me. Then, woke up all tensed. Couldn't sleep anymore no matter if it's 3am.

The nightmares are somehow based on facts, my memories. Sometimes I would question myself during the nightmare if I'm just dreaming. But things look very real. Not a time I can tell myself this is not real.

I should be very happy looking at this whole box of good food. Yet, thinking about the nightmares and all that, reminds me the sickening things in the last three years.

All the time I had is steamed egg with a little ham. Even in the Chinese New Year. And I didn't have a better dinner on the winter solace day. The last winter solace day in Hong Kong, I left work early. Everyone in the office left early so I was happy. I could have more time to work on my PhD application and freelance.

Then, there's no big dinner I expected at home. And I was thinking, is it that we'll have a big dinner on the winter solace day or the day after? Then, I didn't think about it much. Continued to work.

Only until the next day when colleagues talked about it that I knew I had steamed egg with ham for the supposed to be big dinner on the day which is supposed to be bigger than the Chinese New Year.

My counselor said, I could try to change my nightmares. That is, to think about what I would do in the nightmare. Do you have any idea for me? What can I do when I see my mother again in the nightmare? I don't want to feel frightened anymore. Can I act like those Japanese heros, transform myself by a magic spell, then kill her?

February 10, 2006, 10:10pm

You know what. I finally got my notebook computer back. So, I can finally get online at home!!!

February, 9, 2006, 7:32pm

Just back to my office to work. I keep seeing the Orion in the past few evenings as I've been walking back to office from my apartment this week.

Orion is one of the few constellations I can recognize.

http://www.lcsd.gov.hk/CE/Museum/Space/StarShine/c_index.htm

And just when I was about to reach my office, I had a sudden feeling of romance. I saw the Orion nearly every winter night when I was in London. Usually around midnight when I was walking back home from the tube station. Then, I never saw it when I was back in Hong Kong.

Finally, I'm seeing them again. It's like the stars are watching over me all these times, whether I can see them or not. They're always there.

Making me feel like I can get through the coming two weeks. :)

February 8, 2006, 9:52pm

I must be mad. Have been working and working and working in the office. And don't seem to have much accomplished. Got a pile of between subjects and within subjects ANOVA results on my desk. Can't really be sure if I'm doing the right tests to test the hypotheses.

Didn't even touch the student exam papers...

Why on earth would I become a graduate student working until 10pm or 10:30pm everyday? Yet I was complaining about working until 7pm in Hong Kong.

Got to kill all these in a week or so:
1. Grading, due Friday.
2. Paper, due next Monday.
3. Statistics assignment, due next Tuesday.
4. Statistics exam, next Thursday.
5. Paper, due next next Monday.

Will see if I got killed or these stuff got killed.

February 5, 2006, 8:17pm

Can't believe I have been working in my office the whole Sunday afternoon... And it's completely dark outside.

The paper due tomorrow is about done. Need to work on my statistics assignment. Another paper due one week away. And statistics exam is coming in a little bit more than a week.

Then, another paper due. Will need to teach a lecture in March.

Just what am I doing here? It's crazy. The even crazier thing is, I'm much happier studying than working. I earned two times more in Hong Kong than here as an TA. I simply wouldn't be working on Sundays and I would complain a lot if I had to OT.

Well, I work 24 hours a day 7 days a week as a student here. But I simply have no complaint about work. I'm not doing the stupid routine office work anymore. I still remember, the supervisors in Hong Kong either didn't have SPSS in their computers, that I had to print the output for them, or they might have it printed out but they didn't know what the numbers meant. And I was blamed for not explaining to them where to look at and which numbers matter...

Much much crazier.

Here, my advisor taught me to do MANOVA. He explained to me what to do in SPSS and which numbers to look at.

The workload studying is crazy. But the nature of work makes much more sense.

February, 3, 2006, 2:16pm

My M didn't come. ai...

Read the news about the car accident of the Hong Kong tour in Egypt. Feeling, I was so blessed that I only had minor complaints: cheating, terrible toilets, no shower for three days, sexual harrassment, robbery...

Having a car accident in the desert sounds really unimaginable. Going anywhere that has a hospital will probably take hours. I still remember I simply didn't know anywhere to get sanitary napkins the last day there before I flew back to London. And the lady made it explicit to me that I shouldn't ask the guy in that crappy shop. And I did.

Would it really make any difference to save at least some lives if one of those buses stopped? Maybe it would feel better. Maybe it would help a little if there's a healthcare professional on the buses. I had a physician in the tour group I went with.

Anyways, I don't see it fit to blame other Hong Kong tours as cold-blooded. It's documented that in some situations, people tend not to help and not to feel responsible to help. The bystander effect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect

Situational factors instead of internal factors (traits, personality, values etc) assert more influence on our behaviors at times.

Even if people stopped, would they be able to help? What kind of help were expected from them?

February 2, 2006, 2:46pm

Seems like my m is finally coming again... three months. ai.

Just don't know until when I can have my body functioning normally. Knee pain, fatigue, m...

If I could decide again, maybe I wouldn't want to enter this world. Beginning from the meeting of the sperm and the egg. Why would the half of me just let another sperm enter the egg?