April 30, 2006, 10:38pm

I went to a sing in the Lake Forest Church this evening. A sing is that people sing or play musical instruments to worship.

I only like Nathan's saxophone and a little African American girl's solo. I have nothing to do with music, no talent at all but I do enjoy hymns and classics. Calm my nerves down.

Feel really tired these days but I still have my statistics final to do. Hope to get it done then relax a little bit.

April 29, 2006, 4:57pm

Will have a farewell party for Wang Wei, Qin and Dingau this evening. Wang Wei will go back to Beijing. Qin and Diangau will go to the Fort Pierce branch of UF.

I have been asking Shirley to give me a birthday party. :D

April 27, 2006, 7:37pm

Just want to scream.

Now, I'm applying for CSU graduate school. Come on, this is the third time I'm applying for PhD programs... I didn't get any offer the first time. Then applied 15 schools and got 7 offers. And now, I need to apply again because I need to transfer.

Pay for the transcript fees, application fees... This is crazy.

April 26, 2006, 3:47pm

I have a very meaningful day. It's the last time to meet in the international student counseling group. We had to say goodbye to everyone. And especially for me, I have decided to leave for Colorado.

So, the counselor asked us to think of something to give as a gift to the other members. Let me write it down here. I really want to keep this memory. I give:

A: The endless sky. Whether he wants to be a small or a big cloud, he decides. He can move around, limitless.

F: A world map and a compass. So she can venture out.

L: Stained church glass window. It's the symbol of wisdom.

C: A mirror. So that people can see their own image. See what's valuable in them.

What I got:

From F: A magic ward. To heal my knees, to help me all the way in my life.

From A: A limitless health advisor. To help my knees and my health.

From L: A hot spring and a treasure box. The hot spring will heal my body, my knees. The treasure box is to keep my valuable and good memories. I may have had all the terrible things in my life. But I will be able to separate my good experiences and keep them.

From C: A fruit tree. I have been floating around. He gives me a tree with roots. Also, I have fruits and I can spread around.

April 25, 2006, 11:09pm

So, very tired... I cannot believe it. Tomorrow is the last day of the semester. I'm about done with my first year! Really don't know how I have finished all the crazy work.

My thesis proposal and statistics assignments are done. I have 10 student posters to grade and the statistics final exam. That's it.

Then, I'll work as RA in the summer. Also need to work on a paper. Then a translation work from Hong Kong still chasing after me.

I really hope I can find some time to learn swimming and driving... Also bought several very cheap books in a used book sale. Have been wanting to learn investment for more than a year. Still haven't got the time to get to know the basics.

Summer!

April 23, 2006, 11:03pm

Three days! It's the end of the semester. I cannot believe it. Now my statistics assignment is done. And my thesis proposal is about finished.

I will have one exam... then what? I don't know where I will go next.

Got the program brochure from the Colorado State University yesterday. Gosh, several papers staple together. Education is never equal. I had the gold foil LSE prospectus back then.

Maybe I have been too privileged to stay in the top schools all these years. No worry about any journal paper that I cannot find. No worry that books I want to read but cannot get...

Life has its worries I guess.

April 22, 2006, 3:43pm

It has been thundering since yesterday afternoon. More or less like my mood.

Damn it. I'm angry.

April 18, 2006, 11:10pm

It's getting very humid these days. No rain. Just stuffy everywhere. And my knees feel strange, sort of swollen.

April 16, 2006, 10:24pm

Do trees sleep? Or they have to work 24 hours? Seems that they don't have weekends. I suppose trees have to work when there's sunshine?

Still working on my thesis proposal in my office... where's my weekend?

April 16, 2006, 1:14am

So, I really want to say, I want to be something else next life, not a human being. Not a graduate student.

I want to be something with no pain, no thought, no feeling... I want to be a tree and live hundreds of years. No need to think about what to be in the next life for a long time. Or can I be something without a life? Like a stone?

April 13, 2006, 11:31pm

So, I have this another challege in my life. My advisor is leaving this university this summer. I have three options: 1. Go to the other school with him, 2. Stay here, and 3. Apply for another school.

I don't know what to do. So, will need to meet people, talk to them and ask for advice.

My life is so unpredictable. Is everyone like that or is it just me? Well, anyways, without challenges, there's no drama in life. Just boredom.

April 13, 2006, 1:58am

Why, why me?

Had a distressful dream. This time, it's my dad. I always feel bad about him. How on earth he has such a terrible wife. Don't cook well, don't clean well, sleep all day, shouting...

Many times I went to the Chinese church here, saw some old guys visiting their children and grandchildren... I think of dad. He's naive and ignorant. The pig is evil and ignorant.

What can I do?

April 9, 2006, 12:58pm

So, all that f--king didn't stop even after 3am. Some people were still there when my alarm went off at 8am.

F--king another girl, condemed her to be a b-tch. That that girl was trying to stole her boyfriend, all that. F--king her the whole night. What's the point?

If your boyfriend can be stolen, you'd better not have him. Would things change because you are f--king her here the whole night in front of my apartment?

This can only be Freud's projection. When she should be targetting that girl, I'm the one who suffered the curses.

April 9, 2006, 12:54am

Well, I just don't know what kind of a family and what kind of a culture can cultivate kids like this.

It's after midnight, I was reading, thinking about my thesis proposal. Then these two ladies began their long talk right outside my apartment, f--king this, f--king that, f--king dead who and who...

Well, any culture has kids like this. Yet, these are 99.99% college students. OK, f--king music, they said. Just anything comeing from their mouths are f--king.

My goodness, "F--king in the end." Can they just go somewhere else to f what they want to f?

April 6, 2006, 7:56pm

So, I should have period today... I have a feeling like, the world simply cannot disturb me, not even the pills. Doesn't seem to me anything can change my health problem. The pills gave me sickness, not health.

Anyways, I'm hoping to finish my statistics sooner. Then work on my thesis proposal.

April 4, 2006, 9:40pm

Almost done with one statistics question. I took me the Sunday afternoon, Monday morning and this whole evening to figure it out. I have four such questions to do...

Was thinking about to go online and find someone to chat... then almost all of you are not online... only to find out it's the Ching Ming holiday! :~~

April 4, 2006, 6:40pm

So, those riot-like kids were still screaming, having fireworks all that after 3am... OK, the basketball team won. So what does that has to do with getting drunk, breaking beer bottles, driving and sounding the hones at 3am?

The University Avenue was closed for the riot-like party or party-like riot last night. It's all trash piled up everywhere. Also toilet paper thrown up to the traffic lights.

So, I heard that they had a welcome party for the basketball team in the airport. Then a lot more celebrations... more like destructions.

Well, I usually think a society needs riots and revolutions. If it's for good causes, like, social justice, equality, governance... at times the status quo got to be disturbed if not overturned. Yet, these kids, the excuse for party every weekend is not simply enough.

Well, perhaps that's how Cultural Revolution occurred. Somehow kids are motivated or manipulated to do things like this. Destroy the cultural heritage of 4000 years, kill people and all that. Thinking they are doing things important.

I have no idea why the University Avenue was closed for all the screaming and hones until I don't know when. They should all be arrested for littering and making extreme noise at night.

April 3, 2006, 10:44pm

Oh well, it's this non-stop cheers around for the Gators this evening. Every three or four seconds there's this cheer of excitement. Everyone is watching UF vs. UCLA in the national championship.

I don't even have a TV but from the CBS website, probably the Gators are going to win anyways.

Psyche, if you're here, you'll probably be a star. :)