September 19, 2007, 8:14pm

I have M!!! Only 1.5 months!!!!!!!!

Don't even remember how it feels to have period in a row. I didn't have M for any two consecutive months since I left London. Five years already. I remember it was the Mid Autumn Festival the day before I left Edinburgh.

Also remember I was working on my PhD applications the first time. I was working in the PolyU. It was a Saturday. Not a work day. But I was in the PolyU library, staying away from my crazy family.

I was feeling so exhausted. Thinking, I still had one more year to suffer even if the applications got through. Was terrified to think about living with my family for another year.

The applications didn't get through. Was thinking, I'd try again if I wouldn't die in the following year.

Life was desperate with my family.

This week is dreadful. I'll have to celebrate when I get my class discussion and seminar presentation done. But this kind of stress is manageable.

What the hell is it that I have a family like this? To give me a hell of constant anger and threat all my life? To make me stop having M for three years? To make me post-traumatic for 1.5 years?