March 9, 2007, 9:20am

Caught a cold... finally. Was dead in bed since 8pm... Headache...

Had nightmares for two nights... It's mom last night and it's my brother the night before.

I don't know why but she's in my car... Then she broke the key place and the car wouldn't start. Then she blamed me for whatever and it's nothing of her responsibility.

OK, this is just the usual her in reality. Nothing is her responsibility. And it's all me to blame. I haven't had such tension for a long time. I woke up in the middle of the night with a headache... Feeling the tension and stress...

Well, it's great here. It's quiet and peaceful. She's no where close. I really don't understand how I could have survived all those years tolerating her and living such a traumatic life moment by moment.

It's my brother the night before. He shared the same room with me... It's a crazy time. I was threatened just with his presence. He used my computer to get on the pornographic sites... until my computer wouldn't work from getting viruses. He put Japanese pornographic comic books under my desk...

I never felt safe. It's always a threat of sexual attack. And my computer might be broken from time to time...

What a hell.