November 9, 2006, 9:43pm

It's heart-breaking to read about the suicide of the HKUST fresh graduate. I can picture how the spots news reporters were waiting, taking pictures, commenting about the student... I can picture how heart-broken the parents were...

I still cannot forget the day when I saw the medical student jumped from the hospital residence. I was among the spots news reporters to take pictures of him and the parents. And to overhear what the mother mourned about in the counseling room though I believe it's unethical.

I was out to complete my internship. I was on my own. That's news and I had to get information to write a story. All other reporters did that and I was supposed to do the same. You don't need to be critical about journalism practices. You only need to get what other reporters get, write a story, and fill up the page. To be critical can best be valuable in the university. There's no place for critical thinking in the newsroom, at least for a spot news reporter.

I hated the job. I hated the Hong Kong media. I had no support from anywhere. No career counselor. I was working over 12 hours every day. Six days a week. I hated every single second in the two-month internship.

That could be me to find no way out and commit suicide. Whenever I could find time, I was in my heaven, UL (CUHK University Library). I read I don't know how many books on suicides and journalism ethics. That simply cannot be right to listen to what the mother was mourning about when she's in the counseling room. What's the point to wait for a whole day to take a picture of a bloody dead body? What help can you do for the family or the society to write a bloody story?

Why can you not write about the inadequacy in the support system for fresh graduates? It's a huge literature on the student-worker transition. Why can you not write about Durkheim's sociology of suicide? Why can you not write about the theories and risk factors of suicide?

Why someone's personal life such as their online diaries or their love affairs becomes "public interest" suddenly when they commit suicide? What is interesting? Is it not for public interest that reporters investigate the (in)adequate career services for university students? Or at least to provide contact information about where to seek help when they need to?

I cannot be less critical about the Hong Kong media. Tabloid quality.